“Bowling Alone” wasn’t just an internationally best-selling book. It’s become cultural shorthand for a widespread phenomenon.
Why?
Because it hit a deep nerve.
Look around you today and you’ll see it: We’re deep in a crisis of loneliness and isolation. In our society. In our workplaces. In us as individuals.
In recent years, two-thirds of Americans reported being lonely, isolated—or both. And that was before social distancing mandates and work-from-home. Medically, the stressful impact of loneliness and isolation are so damaging to our physical and mental health it’s like smoking 15 cigarettes a day!
That’s the bad news.
There are rays of hope, however. I myself see reasons for optimism in my work leading peer-to-peer forums with physicians and other professionals and believe there are common sense things we can all do.
Step One: Reaching Out Nationally—We’re Finally Acknowledging There’s a Problem
Like anyone facing a crisis, healing can’t start until you acknowledge there’s a problem in the first place.
The US Surgeon General’s recently released report—“Our Epidemic of Loneliness and Isolation”—does exactly that. In fact, it may be the loudest clarion call yet for recognizing the seriousness of the challenge and offering solutions on a nationwide scale.
The groundbreaking 82-page document urges a National Strategy to Advance Social Connection. It’s built on six pillars, including strengthening social infrastructure in local communities, reforming digital environments, as well as mobilizing the healthcare sector.
Healthcare’s Been Especially Hard Hit
That last recommendation is of particular interest to me. For the healthcare professionals whom we work with in our peer-to-peer forums, the crisis of isolation is especially dire. For years, doctors and medical administrators have been reeling from one gut punch after another: Endless hospital consolidations. Down-sizing. Right-sizing. Lay-offs. Mass resignations and retirements. Constant turnover. Nursing strikes. The moral tension of balancing the Hippocratic oath with the balance sheet.
The result?
Many physicians and medical professionals today feel more exhausted and isolated than ever before. But now they have official confirmation that they’re not alone. The Surgeon General’s made isolation and loneliness a national priority not just for physicians—but all professions and all walks of life. I’ve seen one of the solutions in my own experience, by tapping into the empathy and collective wisdom of peers facing the same challenges. Here’s how.
Step Two: Reaching Out to Peers—They’re the Key to Eliminating Isolation
To combat isolation and seize opportunities for professional growth, we need to better harness the collective power, experience, insights, and advocacy of a group of peers in the same profession, organization, or cultural affiliation.
As a young CEO of a minerals company, I had the opportunity to experience the power of connecting with peers to address common personal, professional and leadership issues faced by entrepreneurs. Never forgetting that lasting learning experience, I eventually formed a company that offers peer-to-peer group meetings—what we call “forums.” When offered to small groups of 10 to 12 participants over a period of a year, they provide not only deep learning opportunities, but a structure of support and mentorship for participants that lasts for years. Sometimes, even decades.
The result is a deep professional and personal solidarity with peers that can be a much-needed bulwark against loneliness and isolation as well an opportunity for sustainable career enhancement and personal well-being. In a nutshell, it can be a lasting cure for professional and personal isolation.
From Strangers to Confidants
I see these forums as idea banks. Participants can continually make deposits and withdrawals. Each transaction helps an individual who’s stressed out with a work or personal problem draw on solutions from forum colleagues. In turn, that individual stands ready to respond to make his or her own idea “deposit” with contributions to forum peers.
Make a withdrawal by asking how to handle integrating new people from a recent acquisition. Make deposit by detailing how you organized a buddy system at your hospital to pair-up new employees with those who’ve been there for years. Make a withdrawal by asking how others handle weekend work-life balances. Make a deposit by detailing how you implemented no-email Sundays…etc.
You get the picture.
Participants often enter peer forums as strangers—only to later become something much more valuable: Long-term confidants. Once trust is built, they’re continually returning to their forum peers where’s there’s literally hundreds of years of collective experience in the room.
That experience can not only help with personal and professional issues, it can also help break down multiple silos within organizations where people had neither opportunity—nor importantly, the “permission”—to share valuable information face-to-face.
You’d be surprised how many times I’ve heard comments like: “I work on the third floor and you’re on the fifth… How come we’ve never met? I could have really benefitted from what you did in your department. We’re on the same team after all!” And if they’re spread apart geographically, forums are conducted virtually.
Whether it’s in person or online, as I like to say: “The answer’s in the room. Your job is to ask questions and wait. The answer will come!”
Measuring Success
I’m a businessperson so I like measurable results—especially when tied to larger goals. These confidential, peer-to-peer safe spaces haven’t disappointed. For example, a recent survey of Yale New Haven Health (YNHH) physicians and residents and fellows of Yale Medical School who recently participated in year-long forums, showed that:
- All (100%) reported feeling more connected with those outside their primary locations.
- 90% reported greater control of their professional lives; 87% found improved professional fulfillment.
- 77% reported greater self-improvement with 70% feeling calmer; 53% reported being less exhausted.
- 74% also said they strengthened bonds among employees of different cultural and ethnic backgrounds.
The answer is indeed in the room.
Step Three: Reaching Out as Individuals—Steps We Can All Take
Our forums give participants a safe place to build trust and to learn collaboration and communication techniques. Once we do that, they gradually—and eagerly—move from strangers to collaborators to advocates. In more than a decade of leading forums, perhaps the most telling point I’ve observed is how much human beings warm to the opportunity of making that journey. I’m convinced that connecting—eliminating isolation and loneliness—is a natural process.
Commit to Connect
Finally, the Surgeon General’s recent report is especially heartening to me because it shows that combatting isolation is now a national priority. And I’m hopeful that more peer-to-peer forums like mine can be a part of ending our national crisis of isolation.
But the real first step is simpler than that. It starts with us as individuals. I hope you’ll make the time on someone else’s behalf. Let’s commit to making those connections that matter help make things better.
As NYU Marketing Professor Scott Galloway reminds us, there’s mutual value in reminding others how much we appreciate and value them. “People aren’t telepathic” he says in a recent PBS video. We need to regularly take stock of our own blessings and then actively reach out to others—particularly when they’re struggling. They need to know they’re valued and that we care. It could be a call, a lunch, even a quick email. Gratitude is contagious. It costs next to nothing to express and is appreciated immeasurably.
Who knows? With the right effort, maybe instead of bowling alone, we can once again start bowling together. Wouldn’t that be a welcome change?
Author
A serial entrepreneur who began his career at Harvard and Yale Universities, Earl Yancy is the founder of Yancy Forums, an organization dedicated to democratizing the professional peer-to-peer space. His forums help executives and leaders in business, education, healthcare, government, and other fields by focusing on problem solving, performance optimization, as well as attainment of professional and personal goals.